Naturally the first thing to think about will be the stag night. Now the stag night and the best mans speech are what a best man traditionally is renowned for. When I say to my friends, of which I have at least 5, that I’m going to be a best man a grin passes over their face as they ask “what you going to do to him ... you going to leave him abroad ... I had a mate who once did this ... be nice to him (female friend) ... eyebrows or hair to be shaven off?” So I was quite happy about this, I know how to organise a piss up. In fact I was the first one to start driving in the group so the amount of times I’ve had to work out how to get various people down town into the boozer should set me up perfectly for this ... It appears not. I’ve just had a small heart attack looking at the sort of things I would need to do for the stag party...
How many people should be invited?
General consensus and logic would advise somewhere between 10 and 15. Anymore than that could get a bit unwieldy shepherding people from pub to pub and also logistically during day time activities. Also large groups of people, who do not necessarily all know each other as would be in my case, can end up being a bit clique. It is not the size that matters but how you use it I’ve heard it say. But you would want at least 10 to help with the general atmosphere.
Who should be invited?
Erm, good question. Think I’ll leave that to JR. The internet says, and naturally I shall abide, that the best stag nights should be planned with input from the groom. So who he would want there can be down to him. Save. What about female friends, can you have female stags? Yet again the all knowing internet advises against it. Take this story; female friend goes along on the stag night. All goes well during the day, she loses at go karting so mildly sexist jokes are made, and they head out. However it appears that said female stag has decided to go along as she has designs on the groom, also two of the other stags have designs on her. I’ll skip the details and tell you that the party ended up in jail. Now I’m not saying that anything of that sort would happen to us, after all JR is currently sporting a curly haired rotund figure, but surely it would be safer to take no risks?!? Women go on hen weekends, guys to go on stag dos. Sorted. Mind you, I do hear that hen parties often get massages... No Ben, you want to go paintballing and other many manly pursuits, maybe punch a swan, something like that.
When should it happen?
This is the biggy really. Traditionally stag nights were held the night before the wedding, one last night of freedom and all that, however as the world has got smaller and people have got more ambitious stag nights have turned into rambling goliaths of events. Stag nights now seem to be more about pranks and piss ups than just piss ups. And that’s the thing; the pranks. So lets say hypothetically that someone did get left attached to a lamp post, or lost their eyebrows or such like. Surely it would be the responsible thing to ensure that the stag night happened at least two weeks away from the wedding day. So I shall aim for that at a minimum. Indeed as JR has tended to enjoy staying in with the missus and the kitten (i despair) of late I will try and organise the stag event (for it shall be an event of great magnificence) to be at the same time as the hen weekend. That way he will have no missus to stay in with and we can bring the kitten along (Disclaimer; no kittens will be harmed in this stag night, I’m sure they are excellent at Zorbing.)
Interestingly the groom has a stag night and the blushing bride a hen weekend. Is it just me or does the simple wording of the phrases point towards a night of testosterone for the groom? And a more civilised weekend of ... clucking (what else do hens do...) for the bride? Stags are bigger, better and cooler than hens, therefore the night should be as so. I’m sorry JR but society demands your night to be quite special. And I’m sorry maid of honour, but I’m going to win.
Where should we go and what should we do?
Google tells me anything is possible including; 4x4 Off Road, Abseiling, Archery / Crossbows, Assault Courses, Banana Boat, Beach, Bobsledding, Bull Fighting (no killing), Canyoning, Caving, Circus Skills, Clay Pigeon Shooting, Climbing, Dog Sledding, Falconry, Fishing, Football, Gladiator Jousting (that goes straight on the list), Go Karting, Golf, Gorge Walking, High Ropes, Highland Games, Horse Riding, Hovercraft Racing, Indoor/Dry Ski Slopes, JCB/Truck Driving, Jet Skiing, Kayaking, Kidnap the Stag, Mountain Biking, Mud Buggies, Murder Mystery, Nude Life Drawing, Paintballing, Parachuting, Polo, Powerboats, Quad Biking, River Bugging, Sailing, Segway Racing, Shooting, Snowmobiles, Spy Academy, Sumo Wrestling, Surfing, Tank driving, Theme Parks, Treasure Hunts, Water Park, Water Skiing, White Water Rafting, Windsurfing, Wine Tasting, Zip Wire or Zorbing.
So not much choice then…! I get the feeling that me and JR need to sit down in a pub at some point with a fair few pints to brainstorm and veto ideas. What JR wants to do should be taken into some sort of consideration. For example JR has a distinct aversion to water, so as funny as it would be to put him in a white water raft I think I should probably stay away from that. Advice is that the best activities are not ones that humiliate the groom but that create a good atmosphere of everyone having fun (though that isn’t to say that JR won’t be wearing an interesting outfit...)
Naturally where we go is dependent on what we are doing, no point going to Brighton (though i would save travel expenses as I like there) if you want to go bobsledding!
Unfortunately as much as going power boating sounds good it does also cost A LOT of wonga. And most of us on the stag weekend are going to have only just begun getting paid for work or doing postgraduate qualifications. And as much as I’d like to ask Mr Cameron for an extension to the old student loan I get the feeling he would say no, something to do with a ‘recession’ apparently. However a deal booking, for example, of; 2 nights clubbing V.I.P, casino V.I.P, mud buggies and accommodation can be done for around £160 so fun can still be had for a reasonable price.
Money and Budgeting
So how do we deal with the money situation then? How much are we willing to pay for a weekend of pure awesomeness? More to the point how much can we all afford to blow on one weekend of carnage which we may or may not remember? I’ll be honest; I do not know much I could afford to spend on it in a years time. Will I have any savings left? I do not know. Will I have won the lottery? I do not know, though I am more likely to have done that than have any savings left! Two main ways of doing it then it appears;
1) Pay it all in one big chunk at around 6 months before the event to ensure no drop outs near the time.
2) Pay in installments, similar to how you pay for a DFS (other brands are available) sofa, running up to the event into a shared bank account.
The main mistake that I have read about is people not addressing the money issue until they tell the other stags to turn up at the minibus with £300, some swimming goggles and an inflatable alligator. Needless to say people do wimp out/ realize that they cannot afford a new pair of swimming goggles, at the last minute leaving you with rooms booked and no-one to pay for them. Yet again, a discussion to have with JR.
So, that is part 1 of how to prepare for the stag night. Next week; pranks, strippers and how the best man should behave on the night…
DO NOT FORGET THE RING
DO NOT FORGET THE RING
Best websites I have found so far;
http://www.stagsandhens.com/stag-party-planning.php
